Do you know how to sell?

Recently, George and I had some precious free time, so we took a little time to browse some stores at the Galleria.

And…I bought a fabulous dress! Two actually!

I had no intention of buying a dress, let alone two.

In fact, when I first came into the store, the woman spoke to me and I gave her the very polite ‘don’t talk to me, I’m not buying’ smile and familiar words (“I’m just looking, thanks.”)

But the sales woman was amazing – she knew how to connect with me (even though I walked in very standoffish) and she shared her passion for clothes and skill as a stylist.

In fact, I would call her a messenger instead of a sales woman. 

Here’s a real life example as to what it means to embody your ‘talk’ or ‘sales pitch’ and why I choose to call her a messenger…

She showed me a dress right away and I said ‘no, that’s not for me’.

Then we talked and she both gave me space, but held her own. She created a space for us to be in together.

She suggested a few things and though I was still somewhat closed, she said things that resonated with me. I’ve done enough work on myself and am humble enough to know when to listen. So I did.

We went through a few dresses – all because she knew exactly how to speak to me and connect to my deeper desire.

After a few dresses, she showed me that first one again and said ‘don’t buy it, just try it on.’ 

At that point, she’d earned my trust, so I did.

It looked amazing. Really amazing!

She knew it, but she also knew how to BE with me throughout the process. She expertly guided me through and again, I was not looking to buy dresses.

She spoke from her passion and her expertise, and she backed off when necessary, and stayed with me when needed.

She refused to let me try anything on that was cheap and instead held the ‘high watch’ for the quality of good fabric and higher quality. That appealed to my wealth consciousness.

She told me not to think about the money, instead to focus on how I feel in the dresses. That appealed to my knowing of what money really is and the vibration I live in. It was also in total alignment with what I teach and share with our community.

I checked in with my own guidance and chose the ones that I loved. And I bought them.

By the end, we hugged and both were very pleased with my purchases.

Can you see this in your business?

If you are trying to sell a ‘thing’ or a ‘service’ or a ‘price’, you’re off the mark.

If you know how to connect with your ideal person and BE with them throughout the process, then you’ll hit the mark.

You can’t just think that you’re a messenger and not have the practice, the presence or the content.

Here are 3 things you can do immediately to start to shift into messenger mode:


–          Desire. Get clear on what desire you meet. Not just the need or problem you solve. Anyone can do that. When you know what your ideal client wants and can touch that deeper place, you’re in. Not only are you in, but you’re doing a huge service by holding that desire up and making it the most important thing.


–          Stop selling. Forget the sale if that’s the end game to you. Stay present with the dance and the moment. That builds trust. That creates connection. And if you know that what you have fits the desire and will make the difference, then don’t back off either. It’s a beautiful and fine line to learn to master the art of not selling yet holding the commitment at the end.


–          Know your gift. The woman was gifted at styling and showing me how to put something together that I didn’t see for myself at first. She has a great eye. Even more importantly, she knew that if she didn’t waver from what she saw and believed, I would ‘borrow her belief’ and see it for myself. Not slimy. Not salesy. She stood for her gift and for my highest. And she was passionate!


That’s how you BE a messenger and sell from any stage.

Stop looking for the latest this or that, or being totally consumed by money. Start caring about the experience you create for people and what they desire. Be bold enough to claim it for them, even before they can see it for themselves. Then be in the dance with them to stay connected and see where the moment takes you…with no attachment yet as a total stand for the best outcome.

This requires great skill, art and learning. Don’t try to go at it alone. Get support. This is what we do with our clients and would love to help you. Our speaker training programs dive into this, as do our higher level work. If you want to know how to make this work for you, find out.

Grab the gold in this article and make it work for you. In the meantime, I’m excited to wear my new dress soon!