Why would it be ok for everyone else?

Why would it be ok for everyone else?

I was looking across the deck, after a rain shower, and was amazed at how far I could see and how clear the skies were. It was beautiful! It was fresh and refreshing.

It struck me at how magnificently nature is designed – to have a cleansing, shed its ‘tears’ and then have a fresh start.

It reminded of when we watch “The Voice”, and see singer after singer share their story of how they made it to the show, pursuing their dream, wrestling their demons and pushing through life. Driven by a very personal reason to get the chairs to turn: to help their mother, to get off the streets, to give their family a better life. To make a real difference with their voice.

Each one says “to fulfill my dream to be a singer.”The voice contestant crying

We love that and feel closer to them. Their journey and tears clear the way to our heart and we feel more connected. We feel more of ourselves. We’re inspired by their courage to keep going and stand for their gifts and talents, no matter what.

Why then is it so shameful, embarrassing and so difficult to accept and allow, that we, entrepreneurs and business-women with a calling and on purpose, cry and endure the hardships of the journey too?

Why would you judge that in yourself but be inspired by others?

I can’t tell you how many women share their pain and tears with me on a weekly and monthly basis – when I coach, speak, teach or am in conversations – and the judgment and shame that comes with it.

I’m by no means saying that you have to get out on stage and cry, though that may happen. In our speaker training programs, we’re often asked “what happens if I get emotional on stage?” We teach you how to feel what comes up, be real, stay present and connected with your audience, and how to move forward and still hold your leadership on stage. That is a skill that can be learned and mastered. It can bring you closer to your audience. You have to know how to lead and own it so it’s safe for you and of service to them.

IMG_4249But you don’t have to hide, apologize or be ashamed for the journey.

Many of you, maybe you, say you get it and are ok with it, but there’s something still missing that you may not see:

If you keep looking outside yourself, chasing the next marketing strategy or trying to find the perfect system to get you out there, you’re missing the mark.

That’s not where your greatest chance for impact is. That’s not the gold.

There is not one woman or man who has achieved success and impact that would tell you they haven’t struggled and fought their inner battles as much, or more, as the ones on the outside.

But very few talk about it…because they don’t know how to take you there and still move you forward. They don’t know how to share themselves and not lose their leadership. They don’t know how to go there with themselves…so they don’t go there with you.

We do. That’s why we say “our work starts where most stop.”

Because when I finally understood and made peace with the pain and path as part of the process, and got it deep in my bones and appreciated the magnificence of it, my whole life, and business changed.

Take me out. Put you in.

You are likely feeling some strong desires right now to fulfill your calling. To get out and share your message in a bigger way.

Chances are, you may also be feeling the pain that comes with not fulfilling that dream inside you yet.

The pain of being out of alignment. The pain of the struggle. The pain of self judgment.

You have a voice inside of you that needs your attention.

It will free you: to unleash your wealth and opportunities, speak of your value, stand in your worth, give you the confidence and clarity you seek.

It’s a dark tunnel to walk alone…and you don’t have to.

Here’s something you can do right now whether you’ve been feeling this in a big or small way:

  • Carve out undistracted, undisturbed quiet time – at least 1 hour. Create a sacred and private space for yourself. Light a candle.
  • Ask yourself: “What have I been holding on to and judging myself for?”  Get quiet and write on blank sheets of paper. Write like a madwoman if you have to (I’ve done it many times and still do when I need it.) Let it come pouring out of you and don’t filter it, don’t judge it, don’t make it pretty. Let it rip. Make it safe for the little one inside of you to share and be heard by you.
  • Once you feel empty, bless it all for the good it’s taught you. It brought you to this point. Don’t do “spiritual saran wrap” (ie don’t just go through the motions of saying “I forgive myself” and still beat yourself up later). Do it for real. Then tear up or burn the paper. Bless it as you release it to the Universe and let it shift.
  • Now, in your journal, write what you want and what has opened up for you. Look for the value in the journey and how that increases your worth. Write with love and enthusiasm for what now gets to become more clear, more expressed and more real because you made space for it inside.

This is gold.

And, this is one of the best and most effective business strategies you will implement this week.

One hour of genuine time and attention to this process will reap more results and movement than many hours of struggling to write emails, be out networking and drudge through sales calls on top of a very loud, unhealed wound.

Nature knows this. It’s time you do too.

With love and to your freedom as you unleash your true self as the feminine leader, speaker and messenger you’re here to be!